I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
