Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize