he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
