I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
