Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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