Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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