Buhtt sex?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
