That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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