do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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