my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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