She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
