I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
