In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I am one with the molecules
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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