When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
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It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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