my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
