Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize