Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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