so that wasnt chicken after all
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
