dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
