Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
