u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
