Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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