I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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