Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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