best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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