I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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