i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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