So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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