I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He passed out mid-signature
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
