i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
