I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
