no, he came in my armpit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
