Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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