the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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