You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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