The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
