if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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