My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize