a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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