is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
