Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize