She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize