I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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