I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
