I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
