I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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