I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pooping to opera.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
