Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
