I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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