I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
