Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
